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Make good use of intimacy and small talk skills, and remember 8 small secrets, so that you can easily raise the corners of your mouth and jaw when facing the establishment of a new relationship.
Tip 1: A smile trumps everything
Facial expressions are the most important medium of communication. American communication research expert Albert. Dr. Albert Mehrabian (Albert Mehrabian) has done a study, the results show that people like or dislike a person, 55% of which come from visual clues, mostly facial expressions, another 38% from tone, 7% from language.
To find out your ideal smiling expression, you might as well look in the mirror and spend a few minutes doing simple exercises:
Bite a chopstick and expose the upper row of teeth. You can press the cheek muscles with both hands and adjust the upward angle of the corners of the mouth until you think it is the best position. Then remove the chopsticks, this is your ideal smile expression.
Look in the mirror and remember this look. Also, don't forget the eyebrows and eyes. Modern people are tense and busy at work, and often frown unconsciously. You can put your hands between the eyebrows and the eyes, massage up and down, and stretch the muscles around the eyes.
In addition to this, the timing of the smile is also very important. Don't give someone a smile as soon as you meet them, it will make people feel very formal.
"How to Talk to Strangers" (How to Talk to Anyone) author Lear. Dr. Leil Lowndes emphasized that it is better to look at the other person's face for a second or two before smiling.
Tip 2: Change a bad mood
In addition to facial expressions, you must also adjust your mood. Before entering any social occasion, please take a deep breath and calm your anger, otherwise others will easily feel it and blacklist you immediately.
The most direct way to change your mood is to change your expression. Facial expressions and emotions are interrelated, which is called "facial feedback" in psychology.
Paul, an American psychologist and former professor of psychology at the University of California, San Diego. Paul Ekman (Paul Ekman) explained that changes in facial muscles will send messages to the brain, and the brain will produce corresponding emotional feelings after receiving the messages.
Therefore, when you are in a bad mood, try to make a smiling face, which can immediately change the emotional feeling.
You can also adjust the tone of your speaking and the words you use. For example, when you describe something, don't just say "not bad", you should use stronger words and tone, such as: "really great", so that people can feel your enthusiasm.
Tip 3: Demonstrate Confident Body Language
Confident body language can make you stand out in a crowd and make it easier for others to notice you. According to Mako Nishimatsu, Japanese image expert and author of How to Be Attractive, the most confident posture is one in which the jaw is raised slightly, at an angle of about 10 degrees to the horizon.
Also, don't look around aimlessly, which will make your insecurity even more apparent.
Keep your eyes on the people around you. If you happen to meet someone’s eyes, smile and nod to show kindness. Doing so will increase the chances of dialogue.
Your stance is also important. Do not cross your hands over your chest, as this will make you appear defensive. Don't put your hands in your pockets, which makes people feel listless.
Tip 4: It's better to go it alone
Everyone is afraid of rejection, so people usually only approach people who they think have a higher chance of success.
If you're standing alone, people feel less likely to be turned down if they approach you for a chat.
But if you see that you are having an intimate conversation with someone, you will be very sensible not to disturb you, but in this way you will lose the opportunity to meet new friends.
So, if you're at a social event with friends, don't keep chatting with your friends, walk around alone, and that will naturally attract people to strike up a conversation with you.
Tip 5: Stand out without showing off
Don't deliberately highlight your uniqueness in order to make others pay attention to you. Sometimes it will be self-defeating and feel out of place.
The correct way is to blend into the environment, and then highlight your own characteristics without any trace.
As far as dressing is concerned, you don’t need to deliberately choose clothing with bold styles or colors, but you can match it with unique accessories or accessories, which will not look too different from others, but will make people notice your style It is unique and can even become one of the topics of small talk, and the chatterbox will immediately open.
Tip 6: Lock the object, join the chat
In addition to improving your intimacy, on the other hand, you must also take the initiative to make new friends.
The people most likely to want to chat with you, the ones who are as alone as you, walk up to each other and introduce themselves.
Or, if you find that people are constantly chatting around a certain person, you just need to stand aside and listen to what everyone is talking about, and when you happen to talk about a topic that you are very familiar with or that is related to you, you can join the discussion in due course.
If you want to meet someone important, but only know their name, not their face, the quickest way to do this is to ask the person hosting the event for an introduction.
Tip 7: Allow the other person to express their ideas
There are also certain methods for how to chat after you find someone. Please read the conversation below first. Suppose you are A and just met B.
A: What is your job?
B: I work for a non-profit organization.
A: Really? How do you like it?
B: I like it very much.
A: How long have you been doing it?
B: 2 years.
This type of conversation is like an interrogation, you ask closed questions ("Do you like it?") or factual questions ("How long have you been doing?") There is no interaction between you, and the other person will feel Boring, uncomfortable even.
The author of "First Impressions" Ann. According to Ann Demarais, a better approach should be:
A: What is your job?
B: I work for a non-profit organization.
A: Very special. What is the work content?
B: There are various types of activities. I'm currently working on a project to study attitudes and perceptions of health among Pacific Islanders. I really like it.
A: Sounds interesting. Why do you like this project?
B: It got me thinking about my own thoughts on these issues….
When chatting, it is very important to ask questions skillfully, so that the other party has the opportunity to express, for example: "Why do you like this project?" Only then can there be more in-depth interaction with each other, and the other party is more willing to continue the dialogue.
If you need to check notifications or the time while talking to people, it's definitely not a good move to constantly reach for your phone. It is much more polite and professional to do this through the BP Smartwatch than checking it on a mobile phone.